On Your Mark!
Managing Two Passions Racing to the Finish Line
The weird thing about writing a book at the same time you’re leading a technology company is that the two worlds couldn’t be more opposite. While both worlds are demanding of high levels of focus and concentration, each has its time and place, so I have to compartmentalize and place bounderies on my time for each. If I don’t assign them a unique bib or a place in the race, they would both eagerly and unapologetically consume my mind each moment like they’re a band of runners at the starting gun for the Boston Marathon. Bang! Each thought tries not to trample other thoughts, stretching to get two steps ahead, aligning to the right pace and then finding a part of my brain to hold onto the ideas so they don’t escape.
Each world is filled with tough days, fun projects, and more work than seems possible. These passions are dreams of their own and completely worthy of a full human — each probably requires it and most likely would benefit from full focused investment, yet I want them both at the same time. I couldn’t continue letting my technology work life dictate my future, so my book needed to come to life, and it created this delicate dance of chasing my dreams on two fronts.
As both eagerly compete for every flit of neuroactivity in my brain each day, my waking moments and sometimes even in my sleep, become the ultimate playground of organized chaos. It’s like when one of them loses in that day, it waits patiently for me to go to bed so it can put me to work for a solid 8 hours overnight. I wonder some mornings if working on both makes me better at each. Could it be that these polarizing passions actually create the push and pull that improves both? Regardless of that answer, here I am, pursuing two dreams at the same time, while my friends and family think I’m crazy.
I know it’s not about a race, it’s not even about the destination, it's really about me. I finally decided what was important to me. I took a step to put my passions first and I wasn’t willing to give one up, I want both. I’m probably still finding my steps, figuring out where the pace is, but just like this substack, I’m doing it. I’m sharing myself with my work, I am giving 100% of myself to both and although it has and will take time to see the end, the feeling when I reach the finish line at either or maybe both will be rewarding.
Women seem to balance at least a dozen or more things every day. When I looked at the things I was choosing to balance, none of them included what I really wanted; they were actually things for those I love and/or were obligated to do. In all my years of the race, I had somehow forgotten to put my dreams into the mix. So now I do. Is it easy? No. Is it fun? Sometimes. Will I keep doing it? Yes.
Most importantly, will I keep writing about it - definitely!